I wish that I could travel back, sometimes

to the places of my youth

Grab the lawn chairs at least

A song or two

The Piano

The sayings that I only half rememeber now

taking on all new meanings as I replace the missing words

missing voices

missing smiles I once counted on

I wish that I could see them

here…

See them and hear them and this time I will not forget

I cannot

forget

just one. more. time.

I need assurance that they were real

All of them

All of these ghosts, the good and the bad, they are here, yes?

you see them too….

It is not also always easy to see through

The Tears

The Laughter

The Mistakes

The Stories

The Misunderstandings

Because I understand now

how time warps our roads

blurs our very best maps

clouds the eyes of mere human memory

In the meantime

I will continue to mis-quote my nanny

as I sip champagne

or Busch light

from this lawn chair

I borrowed from the neighbors.