I have no answers

and I need to stop asking

questions that make no difference and reveal nothing

life bleeds

into a tie dye mixture of all the wrong ways

staining my existence

a color I can no longer see…

that which no amount of moonlit bathing

will ever take away

in this world, I am branded

cursed

and worst of all stuck

between new risks and old hurts

and betrayal and hope

and I know that somewhere

in between

is likely what I have been searching for all these long

lost

and languished years

A tunnel bears no light, until it is too late.

My time

my chains

my self-induced persecution…

Reality wanes again

out of focus and out of practice and I mourn it

we may not cross paths again

in this life

I have no answers

and only a distant smile, likely in my imagination,

to follow

Super massive black hole loneliness

My daughter tells me, “at least you are good at it.”

One day, I will seek her wisdom.